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Me and my cousin discussing stuff
“My fellow Americans…chill” -Obama
sunday-under-glass asked: Tom. Favorite flavor of pie.
Super Saiyan
(Preferably Super Saiyan APPLE Pie)
A Summery of the Life of Jesus.
Not exactly politically accurate.
Had this convo on Omegle
- You: Where's Bin Laden?
- Stranger: Dead. You a little slow on the news?
- You: Really? Oh shit
- You: I should inform the fuhrer
It’s amazing what horses can do when they are bored at school…..
Courtesy of some random post on funnyjunk
I actually had this conversation on Omegle
- Stranger: Hey!
- You: I would like to talk to you
- You: but I cannot
- You: You see, I am a horse. And my hooves are too big for typing
- Stranger: Oh man, I'm sorry!
- Stranger: It's rough being a horse. Not that I would know, being a giraffe.
- Stranger: But us giraffes do have a whole host of giraffe specific problems.
- You: Do you have trouble pressing the shift key too?
- You: Every time i http://e621.net/data/38/4a/384a365b87699d6df0cec30f94f07590.jpg?1282391806
- You: Oh shit
- You: Please dont look at that
- You: its a private picture between me and my wife
- Stranger: Haha, this was a very clever way of making me go to a link, mr. horse.
- Stranger: Little known fact, curiosity kills giraffes as well as cats.
- Stranger: OH MAN
- You: I hope you learned your lesson, my friendly giraffe
- Stranger: I don't even have a thing for horses and that's hot...
- Stranger: Man, you and your wife are good looking horses.
- Stranger: I feel compelled to reciprocate.
- Stranger: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bUh-1_QjMoM/TQeVAFp97aI/AAAAAAAAABU/rGYeQhlV584/s1600/giraffe+style.jpg
- You: Well...I appreciate that, thank you. I guess it isnt too bad,since I meant to send it to pighouse forums
- Stranger: That's me and my girlfriend, Nellie.
- Stranger: Ohhh, dirty horse!
- You: Oh my!
- You: You are quite a couple
- Stranger: Thank you, thank you.
- Stranger: The logistics of giraffe sex are very difficult, so we often live 30+ years while still being virginal.
- Stranger: I was lucky, losing my giraffe-virginity at just 22
- You: Gee, I feel like a dick now.
- You: Looking back, my wife and I
- You: Hope I dont sound like im complaining
- You: But we would always do things, but we'd always argue about stupid things, like WHERE to do it, or in WHAT whole
- You: I look back and regret not being thankful that I could
- You: Thank you for your enlightenment, Mr.Giraffe
- Stranger: Not a problem, Mr. Horse! It's little discoveries about oneself like that that make our lives better.
- Stranger: I know some crazy humans enjoy being sex'd by horses, have you ever gotten any of that action?
- You: Oh heavens no! One of my co-workers in my union got in trouble for mating with some fat white sapian. The man died in a week.
- You: He's in a LOT of trouble, still
- You: And besides, its never contemplated my mind.
- Stranger: Golly, you're co-workers with Mr. Hands? He's all over the ungulate news.
- You: We never really knew each other, but I heard he was a bit overly prideful of his sexual adventures
- You: The female horses always complained that he wouldnt stop talking about it
- You: his mother especially
- Stranger: Wow, he sounds like kind of an asshole! Giraffes are very modest about all things bedroom related, almost to the point of being puritanical.
- Stranger: Well, most giraffes. My Nellie and I aren't quite as 17th century about it.
- You: Us horses, too. But he was something of a rarity
- You: This whole thing, my wife said she heard from a girlfriend about a contest, sooo
- You: and this economy. Jeez
- You: Did you know that anti-predator security is up 50 leaves?
- You: 50 LEAVES
- You: That's like 300 grapes
- Stranger: No way!
- Stranger: Wow, we live in the subburbs so we don't need anti-predator, but that is ridiculous.
- You: Yeah, I tell my wife I don't need it, but she was raised by Zebras
- You: Parental instincts apparently
- Stranger: Ha, Zebras. Paranoid devils they are!
- You: Oh god, her mother in law is a lion in disguise
- You: I mean MY mother in law
- Stranger: No way!
- You: big hooves lol
- You: I'd like to think so
- Stranger: Wow, you poor thing.
- Stranger: My mother in law makes me Acacia leaf and Eucalyptus sandwiches for lunch every day, but I guess I'm just blessed.
- You: Sounds a lot better than sneaking poison ivy into your hay because she thinks you erased her program on the DVR
- Stranger: You want my advice? "Accidentally" trip her next time she's doing the steeplechase. We all know what happens when an animal like us gets their leg broken.
- You: Oh...oh my.
- You: I'm not sure if those kind of extremes are necessary
- You: I mean, sure, we disagree a lot, but its natural. Red VS Blue, In-laws VS In-laws
- You: But if she puts that poison ivy in their again, ill rip her tail out
- You: there
- You: lol big hooves
- Stranger: Haha, that sounds like a good plan. Mr. Horse, it was wonderful talking to you. But tomorrow's a big day at the office- I have to take inventory of all 500 Acacia trees at the factory. Gooodnight!
- You: You too. Perhaps I can send you a Pmail
- You: you know, a Pigeon mail
- You have disconnected.
